Moments that take your breath away...

Due to some technical difficulties I can't get my pictures loaded. Grrrr. So I'll digress.
I felt my heart in my throat on more than one occassion this week. When things get a little hard with the day to day I try to pray "Lord, let me see them with your eyes...and Lord, let their heart hear mine." And I don't know why it stuns me after so many specifically answered prayers...but wow...His love is amazing.
Sarah and I have had a hard time being "on the same page" lately...we're often at two different libraries. But my love for her just gets deeper and deeper. In the midst of chaos I had some very purposeful play with her. Nothing special, just some time hanging out despite the burdens I let hang over my head. I usually fall in to bed and pray that she only remembers the play time with me and nothing else. Pray that it's my heart she hears.
This past week was my birthday and on the same day our Mother's Day Tea at Sarah's school. I come in feeling unworthy of being there because I look and feel like a train wreck. And there on the wall is a list of what our daughters said we liked to do. Sarah said "she likes to play with me and do puzzles with me". There was my heart in my throat. Most of the other kids mentioned laundry or dishes, etc. Things, that in all honesty, I do more than play. At first I felt bad that she just made up something...but tonight I realized she heard my heart. Tonight I again realized how intimately close my Savior is to me...and that He knows I mean it when I say I can not do this (mothering) without Him. Every success in me is His glory...every crack in my spirit is filled with His mercy.
I want my babies to know how real Jesus can be to them. And I smile and cry at the same time when I think of Sarah asking to hear "the Easter song" that I love so much. I love that she sings "He's alive and I'm forgiven" now, without understanding it yet. Why? Because God used music with me too. Amy Grant's El Shadai. I had it for years and liked it but didn't have a clue what it meant. Because I didn't have a clue who He was. But THAT night, on the floor and in tears I dug out that cd and listened to it for the first time with "hears that could hear"...and I cried out understanding. And I've never been the same since. And I count on my Abba to call out to my girls in whatever way they will hear...
All this to say...this Mother's Day I'm sure I'll spend part of it wishing I could go back and have a few "do-overs" from the year. But man, am I glad Jesus will never leave me or forsake me.