Long silence??? Must be Hurricane season...

Oh. My. Word.
Let me preface this by saying, Sophie is the most fun, precious, expressive, inquisitive, bundle of love I could ever lay my hands on. (O.k., 1 of 2) She is either all the way up or all the way down. Find the grain of rice that tips the scale and carry it with you at all times. She forgives and forgets immediately (just ask Sarah). And she is not afraid to express her opinion. She also is not afraid to run from Mommy, or eat anything that might resemble food...except the food in front of her. She's determined, never shying away from a challenge...like a baby gate, child-proofing gadgets, or being told "no" when she's sure we meant "yes".

So, where have I been??

A week ago yesterday I'm working in the kitchen and suddenly hear footsteps behind me. Really little ones. Sophie had figured out that if she got a running start towards the older baby gate (you know the one that Sarah just dutifully just stood behind until someone picked her up?) it would fall right down. At which point she used her aquired knowledge (that when doing something totally against the rules, one must be very quiet about it) to pull out very nearly every school manipulative she could reach in the school room. (Need I say that she did not put them back??)
*Note to self* move those science experiment thingies up a smidge higher. I know I don't want to be the one explaining to the radiologist how the iron filings got there.
So anywho...
I admit defeat and reason that we'll probably need a gate for a good bit longer so I'll invest another $40 in my hurricane containment system.
Clearly, she wasn't looking for victory...she needed a challenge.
At nap time that day... yeah, you guessed it. She's popping out of the crib like a bird learning to fly.
She's not ready for freedom, I mean, a toddler bed. So I look on-line for one of those crib tent do-dads. $80??????!!!!!! Ugh, no. We'll just have to take the side off the crib and go to battle.
*Editor's note* I'm not sure we made the right choice. :)
Sophie is rising to the occasion. She called all her friends and planned par-tays for every morning at 2am. The girl would literally be up dancing. Seemingly fresh and recharged.
I had to buy more child-proof doorknob covers. What a joke. Took her 2 seconds to figure those out.
O.k. We'll put a gate in front of her door...raise it a bit (you know, because that challenge had already been met.).
Yeah, that worked for about 3 nights.
Next, it was time to play dirty. We taped her light in the off position. No more late night parties. I turned the doorknobs around so they lock from the outside. No more having to sleep with 1 eye open.
Then, suddenly, it seemed all was well.
(My fellow coastal residents know this is called "the eye of the storm")
Naps had been so nice. Today... oh, today.
When I lay her down, she tells me "tummy hurt". So, I know, I pretty much have to wait until, um, it doesn't hurt anymore, if you know what I mean...before I can leave.
Finally, 45 mins later, I thought I was safe to assume her tummy was all better. But she didn't seem the least bit tired. I had a raging headache, I couldn't lay on that floor any longer.
As I laid on my bed trying to relax, I could hear that she wasn't sleeping. A knock here and a knock there. I convinced myself it was the magna doodle. I mean, surely, given a choice, she'd play with her toys right?
After an hour of ignoring the fear building up inside of me...I decide it's time to check in.
Oh wait...grab the camera because this might be good. (See? I can find the humor in it.)
As I round the corner I gasp. Oh no. Her tummy must have still been hurting...if you know what I mean? Then I suddenly remember my prediction from early on "this will be the one who paints with poop." I take a deep breath (and gag)... and, well, turn on the camera because, well, did I mention she's pretty funny?
I opened the door and saw this.



Oh how cute!!!!
As I get closer I realize she's got something in her hand... oh. my. word.
It's Vaseline!!!
And she's scooping it out by the handful and saying "rub 'otion mommy".
And it's all over her legs, arms, hands.
But, do I lie? Is she cute or what?



So there I am trying to figure out how to get her to the bathtub and I notice she has a swim diaper on. Hmmmmm. Oh Lord, please please don't tell me.....
"Where is your diaper honey?"
She points over there. (I'm still surprised to actually get an answer to my questions half the time.)

Well, Sophie, God bless you for trying to change yourself. Here is her dirty diaper rolled up just like mommy does (pretty much)...and she put a diaper back on. How resourceful is she???


Once I pulled her out of the drawer I discovered all the wipes she used to clean herself up. So what if she sort of rubbed it in all over her tummy...and missed part of her bu**. She tried.
We cleaned up in the tub, then reloaded the tub for a good soak while I investigated further.

I'm feeling pretty good that she was so diligent about the diaper. Wow. Almost makes the destruction ok. See?



Did you see it? Look again. If you watch Criminal Intent like I do and you've learned anything from it...you saw the problem. I did to.
Hmmmm... isn't it interesting that she turned the mattress up? Why would she do that?
I draw closer.
Is it? Yep. Poo-poo prints. Possibly made by, say, a small hand. Hmmmm.....
As the music intensifies, and the camera draws in... I pull the mattress down to discover the crime.



oh dear.
Now, I have to say, at least it wasn't a wall mural. I'm trying not to imagine how exactly it got to this point. Although there was some cleaning under the fingernails going on.

What did I learn? Tape the light off again (I untaped it thinking nothing would happen). Do not leave until she's asleep. Always, ALWAYS assume the worst when silence is involved. And finally...clean out the drawers of anything messy, toxic, or breakable. They are not safe. When possible, pad room.

Early on I would say "If I get to the end of any given day and haven't arrived at the emergency room or had to call poison control....it's been a good day." I'm officially picking that back up as my motto.

Now...if I could just get rid of this headache.