"Safe and Non-toxic" has a whole new meaning.....

I remember, long ago, when Sarah was a 17 month old thinking "what's the big deal about washable crayons?" "Safe and Non-toxic" was like a given to me. Sort of like the warning on hair dryers not to use them in the bath tub..."thanks for warning me but I wasn't planning on it, and was there ever anyone who really did that?"

Sarah had real crayons (apparently not washable, though I never had to find out) and even markers at about 18 months. She just was never interested in doing anything but coloring with them...on paper I might add. And as far as "non-toxic" went, she didn't eat it if it wasn't food. Even play food took FOREVER for her to pretend to eat! And yes, I appreciated that I didn't have an oral baby. I knew she tipped the scale in the "easy" direction.

Enter Sophie. All I can say is, it's 5:30pm and we've somehow managed not to visit the ER. "Sophie" suddenly seems like such a serene name and totally wrong for....I don't know....Katrina. Hurricane Katrina Swan. Yes, that's how I feel. Like I spend every single day with Hurricane Katrina...with the same sense of gratitude for survival at the end of each day, that I felt back with the real storm. :)

Just like a hurricane, she starts so breezy and beautiful. Her wake-ups in the morning are like the calm before the storm. She wakes at a decent time and coos and giggles and waits patiently up to an hour for someone to come in.
But that's it...after that...consider the evacuation notice posted. Get out while you can or hold on to your hat! And just like a storm, it all seems so natural...such a natural disaster. I really think she's just whirling through her day without a single plan...her surge will be the test of your foundation!

Today, we are starting our handwriting time like every other day. And Sophie seems interested so I give her a piece of paper and a washable (I've already figured that one out with her!) non-toxic (that lesson is coming) crayon. I'm thinking I'm safe because she just had eggs, a muffin, and a whole banana (I know better than to tempt her on an empty stomach).
So I go on about my business with the laundry. Sarah chimes in with "Sophie has it in her mouth, mom." Of course my first thought is "well, of course she does." But by the time I get the 10 steps over to her, this is what I find.....



perhaps a close-up is in order because that cheerful, beautiful, not-an-ounce-of-guilt face...can be misleading.




Can you guess what colors she had? Yeah, blue and yellow. She felt the need to try them BOTH! And for whatever reason she doesn't just mouth the stuff...she actually naws on it! We feed her, I promise! I mean, look at her!
Then I found myself looking for the "non-toxic" label. Thank goodness!!!
This is not a random incident either. The girl will try anything. Chalk, dirt, a beetle (I was able to knock that out of her hand before it touched her mouth, but she would have tried it! She could probably eat the guy from Man vs Wild under the table!), leaves, fuzz, soap (a current favorite. Making something as simple as hand-washing exhausting.), need I go on??

Lunch time is the eye of the storm. She goes from playful to "why the hell aren't you feeding me???!!!" in about 2 minutes...so don't dilly-dally. Fill her up and she'll go right into her bedroom on her own. Naptime. For everyone. Can't reach me in the afternoon? Now you know why. Do I seem scattered and almost irresponsible? It's because my head is still spinning and the recovery process doesn't last long enough. I'll get better. Oh, do I pray I'll get better!
The hour and a half between waking up and dinner are all about keeping her busy enough not to realize she's not eating. Good luck with that since grass reminds her of food. You see my problem???? *sigh*

So, as I wait patiently for our trip to the ER for our first stomach pumping...I hope her adoring public can enjoy her antics.

--edited to add: I hate my computer! It should not be this hard to upload a picture! You'd think I'm asking this thing to show me a movie in high def or something!!!! grrrrrrr. Pictures will have to wait until Diva PC is in a better mood. I'm currently accepting any and all donations to the "Save Kim's Sanity - Get Her a Mac!" fund. :) :) :)