It's a phase...

It's Sunday...time for church. I can remember longing for the day that I could walk into church with my family. You know, hand in hand, all smiles and ready to worship my Abba. The children get ready so dutiful and quickly. Once they crossed the threshhold of the church they would enter a state of awe and worship of the Risen King.
Of course I had these wackey thoughts when I was single and I would often arrive early to church because I had plenty of time in the mornings. I also enjoyed seeing everyone and hearing all the blessings of the week.
Today, however, Jesus met me in a very real place. I'm tired, exhausted is more like it. I've heard the chatter, whinning, laughing (oh the joyful laughing!!), and demands of little voices all week. My body aches from leaping over baby gates blocking us from the free world at every turn of our house. I have voices in my head. Not the call-my-shrink kind of voices...my brain is about 12 hours behind in processing everything said in my house so I'm still hearing Sarah discuss the reasons why she should stay in her bed last night.
I've fallen asleep on my Jesus's lap more times than I've visited with him lately. So when I woke up today feeling completely unable to crawl out of the bed I looked up and saw Him. When the guilt of telling my 4 yr old that I was going to stay home with Jesus today felt too big...He calmed me. Better to have 2 hours of silence with Him, than 2 hours of chaos trying to get to Him.
I treasure my days of singleness. I was blessed to know that the uninterrupted time I spent with Him would not last forever. I always felt like I didn't have enough wells to fill up with the Living Water He poured on me and I was aware enough to try to gather. I knew one day it would be all I could do to crawl in His lap for just a few minutes and stay awake to say "thank you, Lord". And He would say "Drink, my child."
I am at the feet of Jesus today...in silent worship to a God who hears my heart.
I am thankful for every aching bone in my body, and for that which caused the aches.
I am thankful for every word and sound coming out of my babies' mouths.
And I am thankful to Ceadermont Kids and Jesus for being my House Church lately. :)